A Late Night Update

So I went into work earlier tonight to ask my boss if I could come in early tomorrow since my parents were shopping, and while I was there, my boss told me that the store has to be “grand opening” straight before she can go home. In addition, all the toy BS must be stocked.

This is ridiculous. I really tire of this company becoming so utterly desperate to give corporate a false impression of the store that will only last for half a day anyway. I wish that the regional manager would walk into a shitty-looking store tomorrow since it’s been that way for at least the past month, but that probably will not happen unless my boss reaches a new level of apathy. So much for the campaign to get the store director fired.

I never knew corporate people could ever be so nice

So today our market director made a surprise visit one day before D-Day. Surprisingly, she treated me, one of the commoners, very kindly. The first confrontation occurred when she, for some reason, was standing where the GM center aisle and the patio furniture displays intercept. Instead of being bitchy (which, according to coworkers, she does often), she simply greeted me with a big smile and the usual, “Hello, how are you doing?”

Then, after I grabbed some fishing returns, I went to that aisle, and miraculously, she and my boss’s boss were discussing something. She again greeted me and then went out of her way to ask me if I was a fishing guy. I responded by saying, “No, I’m just working over here.” Then she asked if I fished a lot, and I told her that I’ve only fished once in my entire life (in the third grade). She commented that it was about the same for her (which makes me wonder where the conversation would’ve gone if I actually was a fisher), and then my boss’s boss joked that a fish jumped up and bit me, and then they walked away.

One other interesting note was that throughout my day, I actually saw her working in the store, taking down old fasttracks and even stocking apple pies.

While this story is not that exciting, and it deals with what some may label the unbearable minutia of daily life, it brings up two interesting points. The first: it’s not that difficult to be nice. If the store director’s boss could go out of her way to show kindness and willingness to converse with a Delta in the hierarchy, then perhaps the store director and some of the other bitchier managers can take a hint. (And I could be nicer too.)

The second point is that she actually worked. In two hours I saw her do more than I see my store director do in two weeks, maybe two months. This is not her store, and she did not have to do work, as her primary job is to dictate instructions from the corporate office (and some of her own) to the store directors in her “market.” And while I have a feeling that her job may be on the line as well when she joins her boss tomorrow morning, it was not only a nice gesture on her part to help the store out as I did not see our store director do one thing today besides walk around, but also a signal to other members of management to do their share as well.

Update from last night’s post: at today’s team member meeting, the store director expressed confidence that his job would be safe after “coming together really well” and getting the backroom empty. In addition, my old boss believed that the corporate powers would not do anything on D-Day (she actually referred to it as D-Day like I do; I thought that was kinda cool), although she would not be opposed to a shakeup.

D-Day is Approaching

Later today will be the last opportunity for the masses to bail out the store director as tomorrow, July 4, will bring in the market director (the store director’s boss AKA district manager) and the group vice president (the market director’s boss AKA regional manager). I’ve written plenty about his incompetence so I will not elaborate on that. However, I have to admit that while I was excited at the possibility of the store director getting fired, I am even more excited that the boss’s boss (the manager on my side of the store under the store director) could have the same fate.

Today shall bring new adventures. As desperation reaches a new high, perhaps the stupidity will as well. Management has already decided to break the planogram (put products where they are not supposed to go), and while this is not inherently a bad idea, the way they have went about doing this is hilarious. Putting different products in the same place on the planogram, turning items on its side to block product information, not replacing old price tags with new ones when necessary, and not pricing patio furniture in general are some of the sins that this group has made in the attempt to clear the backroom.

Because of the circumstances, I can show some sympathy and can tolerate a few broken rules of merchandising, but some of the crimes committed are simply outrageous. If no more product can come out, then do not put more product out. It’s not the store’s fault if the corporate offices order too much or too little of certain products. And if they are going to break some rules, at least ensure that the correct price tags are present. If this is a problem, then train team members (like me) to print out price tags. I’m sure it is not that difficult of a process, but nobody can read minds so don’t expect help from team members if training them is too difficult short-term.

Anyway, this is a longer post than I anticipated, so I will simply end it by saying that while I have trashed the store director and have called for his removal, he is a nice guy deep down, and the human part of me will feel sorry if he is fired tomorrow. However, I would not blame the corporate representatives if they decide to fire him, and in fact, the worker part of me would be ecstatic.

What I will be reading this fall in my Christ College class

Today I received my book list for the fall semester of my Christ College class, called Texts and Contexts I (a course in the humanities). Because I can, I have decided to share the list.

Before class starts, I have to read Aeschylus’s The Oresteia, a Greek trilogy of tragic plays and an essay called “The Aims of Education.”

Then, during the semester, we will be reading the following works:

1: Nichomachean Ethics, by Aristotle

2: Hsun Tzu: Basic Writings

3: Chuang Tzu: Basic Writings

4: Holy Bible, NRSV (New Revised Standard Version)

5: Genesis: Translation and Commentary, by Thomas More

6: Confessions, by St. Augustine

7: Utopia, by More

8: Mencius

As I am not familiar with hardly any of these texts, I have little to say other than that if I actually read all these books, it will make me appear quite intellectual. Any intelligent comments on the list would be welcome, though, especially if you have read any of the texts (besides the Bible of course).

Continuing to challenge complacent managerial minds: Part 2

Whereas Part 1 focused on the changes that have already been implemented, Part 2 will focus on the changes that the company should make. While the company has looked at using technology to improve efficiency, and anybody who has ever worked at my store knows that the store definitely needs to move out of the 1980s into the 21st century, I have found a more fundamental problem that, if fixed, would greatly improve efficiency: improve accountability from both employees and managers, the red shirts and the blue shirts.

The TMAG system has allowed the company to punish those who are not on the clock when they are supposed to be on the clock, but what about employees who are on the clock but don’t work when they are? TMAG does not address that because it cannot. Ultimately, management is responsible for getting the most out of their workers, and this is where the company fails. My store is in the beginning stages of what I would consider a serious problem because of lack of employee accountability.

A few of my coworkers have a tremendous problem with getting things done. After my boss gives us our assignments, instead of getting them done quickly, these would rather dick around than get the tasks done. While I believe in the “work hard, play hard” philosophy, this group of people only wants to ”play hard.” This laziness became most apparent in April, during the beginning of our busy season in the garden center. Instead of addressing the problem when it first started, she ignored it and placed a tremendous burden on a couple of my harder-working coworkers and me to help her miraculously get everything done. If my boss would have forced the people working first shift to actually help in completing projects, then second shift’s workload would not have been so great.

Now, the three or four of us are getting tired of keeping the department afloat and are tired of the weak leadership shown by store management, and as we become more tired, the department will look much worse, and the store could ultimately lose a significant number of customers if the store is not properly conditioned and if certain items are not in stock.

Of course, when dealing with managers who have the retail skills to manage the department but lack the leadership skills, one needs to have strong managers at the top. Unfortunately, the current store director is gutless, possessing poor leadership skills - evident when he passes customer complaints down the line and being unable to deal with employee issues - and lacking retail sense. His incompetence, along with incompetence amongst other higher-ups, has made things difficult for the entire store.

Ultimately, to solve that problem, the current store director and a few other managers need to be fired. Holding employees and middle managers accountable starts at the top, and there is no cure for incompetence other than to get rid of it. However, solving some of the other problems does not require rocket science but rather the ability to hold workers accountable. I know that all my lazy coworkers can do a good job because I have occasionally seen them do so, but since they are not disciplined, they have learned that doing well is not a necessary part of working in retail, and this attitude must be eliminated if the store wants to have a higher degree of success.

Continue to challenge the complacent minds of tenured managers: Part 1

There is one manager at work who I believe is open-minded to change, and there is one manager at work who I believe can bring new ideas that could help. Our second-shift store director is this one manager, and having him around is a welcome change to the negativity that other managers bring when discussing change.

Big changes came to this company recently. Middle managers are no longer in control of their teams’ schedules; instead, an automated scheduling system (funny how ASS is the acronym) is solely responsible for generating the schedule. Managers can change it in extreme cases, but they have been told not to mess with it. Some of them, including my boss, have whined that the ASS is flawed, but as long as she enters the correct availability and the correct number of hours the employee wants to work per day and per week, then the system should function correctly.

The reason why it didn’t begin well is not the system itself but the people operating the system. My schedule for next week initally was screwed up; I only had three days and 18 hours instead of the usual five and 35-40. Eventually my boss’s boss (since my boss is on vacation) fixed this, but we discovered that the the wrong information was entered in the computer. For some reason, it said that I only wanted to work three days. Previously, my boss just ignored that when making the schedule, but since the ASS is now doing the schedule, it actually uses that info since it has nothing else to use.

In fact, the only person thus far to say anything positive about it is my second-shift store director. He noted some of the positive effects this change will have (managers - eventaully - won’t have to waste time dicking around with the schedule and can heaven forbid do more) and has the foresight to know that while change can be painful in the beginning, it will ultimately benefit the company in the long run. In fact, I would say that he is the only person in our store that has any foresight, the only person to look beyond the next visit (which is still July 4, the one that will determine the store director’s fate) from the market director, group vice president, president of operations, or anybody else from the corporate offices.

Another big change is in the absentee and tardy policy. The following are new rules:

1) If an employee is more than one minute late punching in for work, then T-MAG - the new automated discipline system - will automatically write up the employee. (I’m actually not sure if T-MAG is the right name.)

2) If he/she is more than one minute late punching in from breaks, then T-MAG will automatically write him/her up.

3) An employee is only allowed to miss one day per two months. If he/she calls off more than once per two months, then he/she is written up.

Out of the coworkers that I’ve talked to, the majority believe that the T-MAG system is not a good change. In fact, one of the managers believes that the discipline system is a way to get the tenured employees fired and replace them with newer employees who will make less money and possible less benefits. Even my most intellgent Garden Center coworker agreed with him. Again, though, out of all the managers I’ve talked with, the second-shift store director is the only person who is open-minded of the system.

I disagree with the masses. I see it as the company’s attempt to hold its employees accountable. If one cannot show up on time to his/her job, then he/she does not deserve to have the job, and the same thing is true for breaks and calloffs. If something happens where an employee is legitimately unable to punch in on time, managers have the ability to either cancel the discipline or change the punches. Obviously not all productivity problems are solved my implementing these rules, but these changes are a start.

More changes are necessary, though. When I told my second-shift director to “continue to challenge the complacent minds of tenured managers” in his thank-you note, I meant it. Some of my ideas will be presented in my next post.

Old Classic #2: Because Anna says that nobody updates their Tumblr

Here’s another post written last summer, on August 26:

Here I am, armed with the power to say very little.

So tonight was supposed to be the start of my time in the Meijer Garden Center, but to my complete shock and amazement (sarcasm count = 1), they didn’t schedule enough cartpushers, so my coworker who was also supposed to start training in the GC and I were forced to push carts.

It wasn’t that bad, though, for two reasons.  First reason:  it was a beautiful afternoon and evening.  The rain has finally stopped, and the temps could not have been more perfect (since perfection definitely has levels; sarcasm count = 2).

The second reason is a little more interesting, though:  the three sluts (AKA three of my female coworkers) decide to show up on their day off for some reason (probably to look at next week’s schedule).  Anyway, they’re all dressed to show up their cleveage, which I enjoyed greatly.

Now some people would say that these three lack intelligence.  In order to test that hypothesis, I placed one of those child carts (the one with the seat attached to the back so children can sit) behind the driver’s car.  Now, as they leave, all three of them see the cart sitting behind the car.  The driver (the one with the DD’s and probably the stupidest of the three) even squeezes herself between the cart and the car, but none of them have the intelligence to move the car out of the way.

However, a fatal flaw emerged:  there’s no car in front of them, so they can just pull forward.  Now, as I’m pushing carts inside, I tell my cartpushing partner my dilemma, but as I show him the situation, I see that a car parked in front of them, so the problem is solved.

Anyway, I tell my CP partner to see what happens, and I take my carts to “the wall.”  After that, I see that the child cart has been moved.  I ask him about it, and he said that one of the girls (the one with the prettiest face) moved it.

As I walk past them, I hear D-squared (the driver/DD chick) say, “God damn you Spencer!  I almost fucking hit that cart you son of a bitch!”

I try not to incriminate myself, but the hysterical laughter that I cannot control cancels my Fifth Amendment attempt.

I get some carts, and to my amazement, they are still sitting here, so what do I do?  I place another cart behind their car and leave to get some more carts.

When I return, “You fucking asshole!” is the first thing I hear.

“What, you want me to move the cart?”

“Fuck you!”

“No?  Okay.”

“You fucking asshole!”

At this point, both of my cartpushing partners come back, and we huddle around the vehicle.  One of them kisses their ass so that he can get his hugs, while the other is a pussy and is too afraid to cause any trouble when all three of them are together.  Thankfully, a fourth coworker drives and takes all the attention away from me.

He calls D-square a whore more directly than I usually do and made fun of the fact that Goshen (he plays on the GHS football team) beat Central (the school of D-squared and the one with the prettiest face).  Eventually, this led to some other cool things, and at this point I was not the ultimate asshole.

However, this would change profoundly.  One of my CP-partners comes up with an idea.  He wants me to text the prettiest one this message:  “[CP-Partner] says that [D-Squared] is the best pregame show that the Central football team has ever had.”  I send the text message; she doesn’t know that it’s me, so she asks for my identity.  I respond with, “This is the king of calculus.”

Ten minutes later, I feel my phone vibrate, and it’s the third member of the group, the ugly duckling (not because she’s ugly but because she perceives herself as ugly).  Now, I get the phone out of the pocket, but apparently she hung up on me because they’re such mature young ladies (sc = 3).  I of course call her back, and the maturity level reaches a new high as the ugly duckling refuses to answer (sc = 4).

Finally, I call a second time, and she picks up and gives me the classic “What the fuck do you want” greeting (sc = 5).  Of course, I respond with the classic, “You’re the one who called me.  What the fuck do you want” second-line (sc = 6).  Her response:  a shitload of expletives.  Then she hands the phone with D-squared:

“I don’t ever want to fucking you ever again.”

“Okay.”

“In fact, I’m going to tell them [our boss] that I will only work when you’re not working.”

“You know I’m moving to the Garden Center, right?”

“I don’t give a fuck.  I don’t ever want to fucking see you again asshole.”

“Okay.  Can I talk to [ugly duckling] now?”

“No.  She doesn’t want to talk to assholes like you.”

“But I actually have something significant to say.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”  Of course, at this point, she hangs up.  Now, it’s obvious that they’re angry at the message I sent them.  Why are they yelling at me, though?  As smart people say, “The more I know, the more I don’t know.”

Still, those technically weren’t my words (although the number was).  In fact, it specifically says, “[CP-partner] says that” at the beginning.  Essentially, they are killing the messenger.  The stupidity is exactly what I would expect.  Honestly, our education system failed D-squared:  she should’ve been placed in special ed classes a long time ago.

In fact, the education system has failed me too.  Why?  Because I’m graduating on the exact same year (probably exact same weekend) as those three fuckasses.

There may be a message above this, so I may write more.

Man that was a long one. The lesson here is that it’s very easy to be one of the most intelligent people that work over there.

Old Classic #1: A List of Spencer’s Tragic Fashion Flaws

Here is a post that I wrote last summer (July 6) on my Tumblr account, originally titled “A List of Spencer’s Tragic Fashion Flaws:”

One of my female coworkers (not the one lacking the definition of beautiful) recently suggested that she and two of our coworkers (one being Miss I-Don’t-Know-What-Beautiful-Is, the other being one of the hottest teenagers I’ve ever seen), give me a makeover.  Apparently, I could be really hot, but my current clothing styles prevent me from showing myself off.

Here’s what she taught me:

1) Wearing long socks is a sin.  On that particular day (actually most days), I sinned, and she went apeshit on me.  Apparently, the act of wearing long socks is absolutely hideous.  I would agree with her if she argued that wearing the socks is stupid during the summer, but her arguments consists of, “It looks dumb.”  I, one who’s deeply offended by superficial chicks criticizing me (obviously sarcasm), ask her if it really matters.  Her response:  “Some girls just notice these types of things.”  Ladies, do you actually give a shit?

2) Wear short, trendy-looking socks instead.  When (actually I cynically perceive it as a huge if) the three coworkers and I go on the shopping trip, they’ll take me to Deals and give me a nice but cheap set of shorter socks that apparently look a lot better.

3) Don’t wear New Balance shoes.  Despite their high comfortability level during the rigors of life, they’re “old man shoes.”  Now, I imagined men in their sixties, but her definition is “men in their 30s who play tennis.”

4) Instead, wear the Nike Shox (had to check the spelling for that one).  Once again, it’s more important to look trendy by buying something ridiculously overpriced instead of simply sticking with a reasonably-priced but comfortable shoe.

5) My shorts look like shit.  Yes, they adhere to the Meijer dress code, but once again, they fail to adhere to the superficiality code.

6) Go to Hollister to buy shorts.  Apparently, they have some “hot” shorts there.  My question:  “What is the difference, pragmatically?”  Although I’ve never been there, the shorts probably aren’t that much better than more typical, once again reasonably-priced shorts.

7) My selection of clothing indicates that I dress like a nerd.  In her sharpest criticism yet, my dear co-worker condemns my T-Shirt selection and compares me to other Concord students who apparently dress like a nerd.  (Keep in mind that my regular wardrobe consists of  Bears t-shirts, an Urlacher jersey, Colts t-shirts, Dream Theater shirts, and a t-shirt with a shitload of drumsets on the back.)

Now she drops the Abercrombie and Fitch bomb in addition to invoking the Hollister name.  Specifically, she mentioned that a A&F sweatshirt would “look hot on me.”

9) Do something with the hair.  She suggests spiking it up at places; I don’t remember specifically where.  I’ll admit that the hairstyle is ideal for spikeage, but I guess I’m just too damn lazy and apathetic.

10) Get rid of the unibrow.  Probably the most reasonable suggestion, but if a girl turns me down because of it, then she’s probably not worthwhile anyway, a “hit it and leave” type of girl, as one of my friends says.

So my coworker envisions all four of us setting aside a day where they take me to certain stores and basically help me pick out a new wardrobe.  All three of chicks are pretty hot, so that alone forces me to consider the possibility.

However, I would have to pay for the clothing myself (well, my mom would pay at least part of it; she gave my sister “school-clothes” money), and it obviously goes completely against the essence of Spencer.  As you people should know, I enjoy being an individual, and wearing idiotic brand-name products is as far from individual as it gets.

My coworker knows that I’m “a cool guy.”  She has also noted my increase in confidence by saying that she’s “proud of me.”  She simply wants me to use my potential, since being a teenager is all about dating superficial, stuck-up bitches, screwing them, and then breaking up with them a month later (which is what I would do).

Ultimately, she has the utilitarian, “I want just you to be happy,” attitude, but in this case, I think she’s completely missing the target by believing that I’m a cookie-cutter man who will do anything to get some, uh, vagina.

I was not desperate for a woman last summer, and I still am not. I will never compromise my beliefs or my lifestyle for another woman, even if she’s hot. Either she will handle it (or, heaven forbid, like it), or the relationship will not work out.

Also, the four of us never did go shopping, not last summer, and not this summer. And it will never happen.

And I hope building up her ex-boyfriend to be a machine of superficiality was worth it. I’m not sure, though, as he cheated on her numerous times and generally treated her like shit. I am confident, though, that she will not learn this lesson for a long time, if ever.

Independence from incompetence?

Here’s quick update from the wonderful world of work. Over the past month or so, our back room has turned to shit. The pallet racking that was present separating each department’s area was taken out, and now random boxes from many different departments are all over the place. There is so much crap that needs to leave the back room and go out on the shelves that may not be recovered because of the clutter. Finally, the market director (analogous to a district manager) came in and placed an ultimatum: the back must be cleared by July 4, or else the store director will be fired.

Here’s the plan: there are 8-10 or so workers and three managers who are working third shift Sunday (yesterday), today, and tomorrow, and their job simply is to take skids of product (usually backstock) out onto the floor and stock it if there is room. If not, it returns to the back. Normally, backstock is kept on carts. However, so much backstock (BS) exists that the carts are overflowing, and now skids and pallet jacks are being used to transport the BS instead of the carts. In addition, two salaried managers are working double shifts two days this week to help bring product out, and another manager will help out in the back instead of working in this department.

Meanwhile, there are forces working against this effort. My boss is taking her vacation this week despite pressure from the store director not to take it (which is why I love her), and some workers have spoken out against helping him. As for me, I will work, but not any better or worse than I usually do. I don’t think very highly of our director, but instead of working harder or worse, I will perform on the same level that I usually do despite my feelings toward the store director. I will not be fake and work harder or longer, like the aforementioned managers working doubles, and it is the fault of the product flow line, mainly the inventory analysts, that the amount of BS escalated, and they ought to be the ones fixing the mess they created.

Still, I don’t feel compelled to ruin my reputation of being a reliable, seemingly hard-working employee by refusing to do work or doing it poorly. I will do what I do, and we shall see in 1.5 weeks what the result of that will be.

Reflecting upon an unfortunate end to a remarkable life

Today was an sad day as I said goodbye to Bethany, a friend who lived a short but a remarkable life. After looking at her artificial body that resembled a wax doll more than the Bethany that I knew and loved, I have decided to record some of my memories of her.

I still remember the day when I first met Bethany. As I remember, my friend Kareem and I heard of a fourth person who took classes at IUSB, and we wondered who she was.  Eventually we found out that this Bethany was number four (Robyn is number 3 BTW). I believe Kareem met her first, and then I did soon after. When we were introduced, she greeted me with a big smile and said, “You must be the other person taking classes at IUSB.” Immediately we started talking like a couple of old friends.

It’s often funny how first impressions are supposed to be accurate but often are dead wrong, and this was the case with her. When I first met her, I saw her as a loudmouth attention-whore who wanted to look smart without being smart. Whenever we were in Mrs. Greene’s or Mr. Schrock’s rooms during fifth hour, she seemed to always be talking, and talking loudly. Fortunately, I soon learned the truth that she is truly one of the few truly kind people I have met throughout my four years of high school.

One sign of this kindness was her desire to help others. For me, this has to be her attempt at finding me a girlfriend. Initially I was skeptical, and I refused to give her the characteristics of my ideal woman. Many people said that they were going to find somebody for me only to fail, and I reasoned that she would also fail, so I didn’t want to waste my time. However, she insisted, and I relented. Amazingly, she thought of somebody right away, a former IUSB classmate. She texted her, and the potential girlfriend was interested.

However, Bethany and I could not find a time where we could meet up and double date, so I called the woman myself. She still seemed interested, but when I texted her about a week later, she had reunited with one of her ex-boyfriends. Despite the setup not working, she did more than anybody else who said they would hook me up with someone.

In the 4-5 months of fifth periods Kareem, Bethany, and I spent together, we laughed, walked around, talked with other teachers and with ourselves, and simply hung out without doing much of anything. When CHS installed the emergency clipboards, Kareem and Bethany would carry the clipboard around and pretend to rescue people. I didn’t find interest in the game, but they enjoyed it greatly.

Probably the most vivid memory, though, occurred on the last day of school before exams and commencement practice. I was teasing Bethany by telling her that I didn’t think we would see each other again after today. She, with her unrelenting optimism, insisted that I’d see her at commencement practice.

“What if I don’t?” I asked.

Then we will at commencement, she replied. But what if I didn’t her at commencement? Then I might see her at her open house. What if I have to work during her open house? Kareem became annoyed, but Bethany simply stated that at some point, we would see each other again and not to worry about it.

Well, I didn’t see her at commencement practice, I didn’t see her at commencement, and I did have to work during the day June 7, so I couldn’t see her at her open house. However, when I drove to someone else’s open house, another vehicle pulled up at almost the exact same time, so I waited to see who would come out. And there she was. As she would often do in the hallway often during school, she shouted, “Spencer!,” and then she ran up to me, gave me one of her big hugs, and said, “See, I told you that we would meet again!”

That would be the last time I would ever see her alive, and as the tears rolling down my face would testify, I especially cherish that final moment, as it simultaneously embodies all the qualities that make her such a special person: her unending optimism, her kindness, her vitality, and her energy.

As Jesus says during his Sermon on the Mount, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” As one of very few people I have ever met with this pure heart, Bethany has seen God, and I thank her for being such a positive presence during my senior year. RIP Bethany, and God bless.